Revision for project 1


      For project 1, I turned in the first draft of my introduction. After I got feedback on my draft, I went to the Writing Center in the library because I had a lot to fix. The first paragraph shown below is the original introduction I had. 




The second paragraph shown below is my revised version after getting feedback and going to the Writing Center.


This is an example of how I used revision and editing in one of my major projects. This project was the investigative field essay. This specific component was the introduction to that essay. Other parts of the essay were also revised, but this component was the one that needed the most work done on it. I changed the tone from a personal perspective to a scientific perspective.





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